Giving great sensual touch with your hands is the most important sexual skill you can have.  If your sex life isn’t as satisfying as  you’d like it, before rushing off to get a new sex toy, try improving your touch skills with these few easy tips. You can practice them with your partner or with yourself.

#1 – Breathe

Center and energize yourself by breathing comfortably into your belly for a minute or two before touching. The key word here is comfortably. Don’t force your breathe or strain yourself to “breathe deeply”.  Rather, just notice your breath in your body and expand it just a little bit more on the inhale and let it go effortlessly on the exhale. While touching, keep your breath moving – don’t hold it. The more you breathe the more you feel.

#2 – Pay attention to the physical sensations in your hands

Energy flows where attention goes. The simple act of paying attention to the physical sensations in your hands, like heat, pressure and the texture of your lover’s skin, will make your touch feel electric. Conversely, if your attention is elsewhere, like all the emails you have to answer, then your touch will feel empty and mechanical.

#3 – Soften your hands into the shape of the body part you’re touching

Relax and soften your hands to fit body part you are touching. This increases the surface area of contact and helps you to feel more. Tension masks sensation so keep your hands soft. Stiff hands feel yucky to your partner.

#4 – Move your hands slowly

Slow touch just naturally feels more sensual. Try moving as slow as you can and then go even slower.

#5 – Let your hands be still and just hold

Find a place to rest your hands.  Perhaps one hand on her heart and one hand on her vulva or his penis and just rest in stillness and silence for several minutes.  Remember to breathe, paying attention to the sensations in your hands and keep them soft. You’ll be incredibly surprised at how your hands will heat up and fill with energy and pleasant sensations that will connect you deeply to your partner.

As with any practice that involves using your body in new ways you have to actually do it over and over again to learn it. Enjoy yourself!