by Tracy Lee
Arnie: Prostate Cancer
When I first met Arnie, he had recently been through rectal surgery for prostate cancer. He was in the recovery stage and learning the new ins and outs of his genitals. Things no longer worked the same way. There was no longer a rock-hard cock, there was no longer any ejaculation, but his ever-excitable libido was still healthy and raring to go.
Arnie, and other men I’ve worked with, who have prostate cancer, struggle to feel masculine when the new norm is a soft cock. They worry, are orgasms still attainable? Luckily YES! and that is what Arnie and I worked on.
As a Sacred Intimate deeply rooted in the Tantric Arts I started working together with Arnie on sex after cancer. We worked with re-defining sex to include soft cock exploration and pleasure. We added the three principles of Tantra which are movement, breath, and sound. Arnie was a quick study on adding breath and feeling his life force energy expand within himself. He started enjoying energy orgasms with a soft cock. These are separate and different from a physical genital orgasm and can be enjoyed solo or paired with the physical orgasm. As we continued to work together, Arnie was able to experience full body energy orgasms and on occasion, still with a soft cock, Arnie was feeling mini tremors of physical orgasms. We continued to work together expanding technique and, oh boy… the pleasure.
Each session we had together continued to enhance pleasure, and the tiny twitches of genital orgasms were increasing. What was also increasing was the length of time Arnie would be in an energetic orgasmic state. Full body, for 15 to 20 minutes. He was bubbling over with it.
This is where we added energy exchange practices. He would raise his orgasmic energy through movement, breath and sound. I would raise my orgasmic energy as well, then using breath we pendulum that energy back and forth. Mouth to mouth, heart to heart, genital to genital. This practice is one of the reasons why Western culture relates tantra to sex. Sharing sexual energy in addition to touch is mind-blowing.
We were now reaching the goals of sexual pleasure and release redefined with soft cock involvement. Arnie was at the stage with his MD that he received a prescription for erection enhancement. We started incorporating this into session work. What happened was pleasantly surprising. The meds did help Arnie get back a hard cock. The happy outcome was that he only needed the meds a few times until his body remembered “Hey, this is how things used to work” and he was able to discontinue use. Now Arnie was fully back online with four times the sexual pleasure than before surgery, with:
- Energy orgasms.
- Physical genital orgasms
- Extended full body orgasms – now extended to almost 40 minutes.
- Sharing and exchanging orgasms and orgasmic energy with me.
Again and again, I see with clients that if something doesn’t work, temporarily or long term, that our bodies are capable of opening up opportunities to different, but greater things.
Arnie learned that lesson well. We all have the capacity to expand sexual pleasure and learning while in great shape or under the design of limitations and disabilities. All it takes is desire, perseverance and courage.
Tracy Lee, Sexual Visionary Guide. Everett, WA
I began this work after friends kept turning to me for relationship and intimacy advice. I have an intense curiosity for learning and exploration. My deep presence, coupled with childlike playfulness help clients feel safe and at ease with me.
I have training in mindfulness, Reiki healing, pelvic massage, tantra, and somatic therapy. In sessions we address what you think and how that affects what you feel. This combination frees you to accept yourself to enjoy pleasure longer, with more sensation and intensity, without societal guilt or shame.
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