Harnessing the Creative Potential of Pure Erotic Joy
The potency and potential of what two sexually-charged male lovers hold in their bodies is tremendous! Subconsciously, this is what keeps us searching, seeking, and longing for more hot erotic connection with other men.
I’m here to propose that more men start to recognize that EVERY encounter — whether it’s with your lover or some guy you just met — holds tremendous potential for bewildering magic and life-transforming pleasure.
PLEASURE in itself is one of the most powerful — yet least recognized — forms of healing magic. What do I mean by “healing”? I’m talking about flooding the body with euphoric ecstatic erotic pleasure for the sake of great health!
When’s the last time that anyone told you that JOY is a healing modality? It’s not likely you’ve ever heard anyone say it…
We live in a world which under-rates the very thing that we most crave — joy, pleasure, and healthy erotic connection.
What IS “healthy” erotic connection? It seems like we haven’t been given many good models for it. Far too many of us settle for quick “get-in and get-off” engagements. What — I wonder — is driving us subconsciously to get our pleasure over with so quickly? Sometimes, just asking the question—even long before we know the answer—is the most important step we can take.
So I’m inviting us as men who love men to consider what drives our passion, what we’re really looking for, and what we’re ready to receive.
I spoke with a client yesterday who had done a 2-hour transformational Tantra session with me several months ago. Fortunately, he had the gumption to ask me for a follow-up phone call, and I was happy to oblige. When I asked him what had prompted him to make this request after the passage of 3 whole months, he told me, “You were the first person I met who told me that my JOY actually has creative potential, and that I can use my joy to create and manifest whatever I most desire in my life. I wanted to talk with you more about that. I felt like I needed a reminder of how that works. I wanted to hear your voice say it again…”
I was, of course, honored by his request, and as I spoke to him, I realized how much power words alone have to create, manifest, and heal. Our words are, indeed, our manifestation of reality. We create our world by what we think and say, even before we do it…
I felt a profound sense of pleasure as I told him, “There is something especially powerful about love-making between two male lovers. Many gay men have had children and continue to do so, and yet…just as there is the capacity to give birth to new human life, there is also a magnificent capacity to give birth to many other things together, as lovers! What you may not realize is that when two men make love, there is potential for a LOT to be generated, starting with our health and vitality! Ironically, we live in a world where many people have been overtaken by the entrenched belief that sex causes disease. Disease is, in fact, a reality in world, but there are at least two sides to any story!
The other undeniable Truth in this “sex story” is that SEX is LIFE. For some reason, this part has often been left out of the story that we read, hear, and are otherwise constantly subjected-to in a sex-fearing, often shame-infused culture. Our hot, delightful sexual pleasure with other men is one of our greatest gifts, and it is ready to be fully employed—not only for our own health and well-being, but for the well-being of our loved ones and this earth as a whole.
We no longer have to live in the destructive paradigm of “Sex = Death”. Granted, Sex is a tremendously powerful entity, to be engaged with high consciousness. Sexual desire, in all of its power, has been mis-used and abused throughout time immemorial. And now, we as men who have sex with men are being presented with a timeless invitation. We’re being invited to fully recognize the immense power which we summon when we suck dick! We’re being invited, the next time we’re in a hot 69 position, to allow ourselves to take a little mini time-out, just to stop for a second and say to ourselves, “This is powerful!” Over and over again, we get “carried away” by the passion, bulldozing right into our next big spurt. This is great fun! We all know this! And now, there’s a new suggestion…an invitation for something new, exciting and profound…
Stop to consider, next time you’re getting into the heat of passion — be it with your husband, your lover, your hottest fuckbuddy, or that dream-boat hook-up you met…Consider pausing for that moment, in the midst of that immense pure fuck-joy, and just for that brief moment, consider all of the people and places that are hurting in this world.
Consider the times you have hurt in this life, and the path that you and this man, in the throes of passion in your arms, have walked to get to this point. And consider how NOW is the time to fully re-claim and acknowledge the power and potency of this magical, wonderful thing that you’re about to enjoy! Can hear an Ay-MEN! YESSS!
It may seem a little odd at first, but over the years, I’ve learned to take short pauses in my love-making. I mean…it’s naturally built-in to most of my love-making sessions, since I’m a coach of erotic ecstasy and transformational erotic play. Men literally come to me to learn how to transform their erotic lives in ways they never thought of before. And so I find—especially in the throes of passion—that it helps a lot to take a pause…
A pause…especially just before that moment when one of us just about reaches that “point of no return,” when we feel the excitement surge so high that we feel like we’re just about to spurt that hot cum all over each other’s bodies…
That’s when I like to pause and say, “Hey, lover…how would you like to take a deep breath with me?” We’ll both stop moving for a few moments, just to feel each other’s breath. It’s a powerful sensation, to go from full-body movement and excited gyrations, to complete stillness, breathing, holding one another tight, face-to-face, heart-to-heart, cock-to-cock, balls-to-balls…feeling the rise and fall of the breath in one another’s bodies, feeling the tingling and excitement of our two sweaty, previously-breathless bodies. The breath returns, and we deepen into the next level of relaxation. Sometimes, we’ll even completely go to sleep during one of these pauses! I find that it’s quite incredible, to reach such a level of comfort—especially with a man I just met—that we can forget about everything and just let our bodies fall into a deep sleep, holding one another…
Oftentimes, once we’ve paused and connected in this way, time ceases to exist, and in its place, we find ourselves immersed in literally countless moments of exquisite, heart-filled, ecstatic pleasure! Hours later, we’re landing, looking at how the sun has crossed the sky and changed in its intensity, while we soared and time passed, like a river of sweet, warm, life nectar.
It’s in moments like this that I realize how many of our sex lives as gay men have become overtaken by some kind of agenda, and I wonder…whose agenda was it, and when did we accept it as ours? When did we come to believe that falling asleep in a new lover’s arms somehow would mean that we were a “failure” or that we were a “boring lover”. When did we come to believe that HOT SEX means getting hard, staying hard, and fucking full-throttle until we cum…and that when we cum, we’re done? Who told us that two guys who just met aren’t supposed to treat each other like lovers….that would be be “too intimate”…and that when you hook up with someone, it’s really “just for sex”? Who was the first to tell us that two guys who just met at the bath house couldn’t have MAGICAL, life-giving sex together? And who said that if they do, then they SHOULD be lovers for life? When did we decide that we can’t have MAGICAL SEX with multiple men, have a very healthy and wonderful sex life, and never worry about being “alone”? Who decided that the most fulfilling life for all of us is to find one man we can really love, who really loves us, and grow old together? Was there ever a time when men lived in a village, city, or town, and we knew that as long as we live, we can support, love, and nourish one another, every day of our lives, in bed and in our kitchens and by our fireplaces?
Sometimes, the questions we’re asking just might matter more than the answers.