At one time in my life, I had the most wonderful kisser for a boyfriend, so I was surprised when after time I got bored with our kissing. Then I discovered why. He was always kissing me (active) and I was always receiving his gestures. As soon as I realized I needed to be more active in this game, things cooked up. Instead of the predictable “his way,” we began to share the lead. Culturally, women are shy to lead, but men love it. They really want to please us and are thankful when we show them how.

Here’s a nonverbal kissing game to try with your partner. Take turns being the active kisser and the receiver of kisses, or “kissee.” When you are the kissee, offer a soft, slightly open mouth for the kisser’s exploration and do not react by moving. Close your eyes and tune in to your sensations. Breathe. When you are the kisser, find new ways to explore the sensations of your mouth and tongue for your pleasure on your lover’s face and body. Tune in to your sensations and breathe. Decide on a time frame, such as ten minutes, and then switch roles. Afterward, talk about what you liked most about your partner’s kisses.

Here are some tips

. . . on kissing since it is one of the surest ways you can tell if you want to go further with a partner. If he passes the kissing test you can go on to second base. If a man or a woman is too eager, and rushes past the subtle and whispery beginnings, you must reduce the pace. Immediate hard and wet mouth mauling misses the point. Discovery by tongue is a tender, playful journey.
Start out slowly and leisurely with your kissing. How lightly can you kiss? With a relaxed, soft mouth, graze over her cheeks and facial features by barely touching the skin. Trace the eyebrows with soft lips. Tenderly kiss the tip of her nose and the corners of her lips. The mouth, not your hand, becomes the sensate-focus tool.

Breathe lightly into an ear and lick its contour. The mouth is so sensitive that less is often more. Your lips and tongue are exploring and discovering each nook and mound. Your attitude is inquisitive—playing a new game with each kiss. Once you reach her mouth, kiss lightly without your tongue at first.

For a variety, try some fruity kisses. Blindfold your partner and have slices of fresh fruit to share with him when you are the active one in the kissing game. Rub his lips with pineapple, running the cool, textured sweetness over his lips. Lick the juice off his lips. Tease a raspberry onto his tongue. Loll it gently around with your tongue. Bite into a slice of mango and feather it into his mouth. Share in the juices. Switch roles.

Another oral delight is body tasting, where you apply your favorite food to your lover’s body only to be licked off by you. Whipped cream, honey, and chocolate sauce are some favorites. Savor the flavors mixed with your lover’s essence. Take turns and take your time. Do not place any food in the vagina and leave time for a sensual shower afterward. Perhaps an old sheet and kitchen table would be ideal for your feast.