When we hear the word erotic we often think, “Oh my God, hot and endless passion and hard-action genital aerobics.  Erotic, like the word sex, has been narrowly defined in culture to mean plumbing and pumping of body parts. I use the term in a much larger context.

I define erotic as being truthful, vulnerable and compassionate about one’s sexual/sensual arousal, desires, fears, and pleasure in each moment.”  Erotic is ‘revealing’ what is going on in us instead of ‘concealing.’  Erotic is feeling safe to be who we are.  Erotic is not being judged.  Erotic is being spontaneous instead of having an agenda.  Erotic is being able to say ‘yes or no’ with ease to our partner, 100% of the time with a 100% full heart.  It’s a tall order, but worthy of practice…and mistakes, and more practice!

Besides raucous and robust (which is wonderful), can we also imagine Erotic touch that is quiet, soothing, relaxing, and healing.  Erotic happens when we feel safe; when we feel secure in our ability to express what is going on with us moment by moment.  I’ve felt Erotic while breathing with a partner, eye gazing, sharing stillness, in a sigh, a cosmic “aha,” a hug, a moment of deep surrender or gratitude.  Erotic is realizing you are more than your story, more than past events, more than anything you can imagine.