Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals

Moving Energy into your Heart

Now is the Time
Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals by Dakini Oceana
Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals by Dakini Oceana

Well, here we are in a global state of quarantine. Many people are separated from loved ones, and are alone. Many people are surrounded by family in a home, yet feel anxious and alone, stuck in their minds, disconnected from body. Many simply want to use this time of togetherness to create more intimacy, bonding with themselves and loved ones. 

There is little question that the need for love stems from a biological fact: that without love, without at least some measure of caring connections or bonds, humans cannot survive.

We clearly cannot survive as infants without the physical caring of touch- as studies show. It is from touch that we derive our most intense physical and emotional feelings. It is from touch that we obtain not only pleasure, but comfort when we are in pain, hope in despair, and that indispensable sense that we are after all, not alone in the world, but connected to others of our kind. 

Now, in this global pandemic, we are being called to soothe ourselves, give ourselves the physical need for touch. What an amazing gift, really, to be forced into learning how to give to ourselves. 

During this time, we can focus on blossoming the beautiful art of nurturing ourselves, getting to know ourselves and our bodies on a deeper level. Self-pleasuring practices are a beautiful aspect to Tantric Rituals, and deserve the time, patience and practice they ask of us, as they reward many transcendent gifts to our spirits, hearts, bodies, minds.

Sacred Tantric Arts of Self-Pleasure 

So, let’s take the time, make it an artistic practice: giving ourselves pleasure. The art of loving. It is an art, as all of sexual relations are, when you desire to explore pleasuring with genuine sensitivity. Discover what arouses you sexually; develop a deeper honor, attitude, toward your genitals. Learn the kinds of touches, positions, breathing, fantasies, and music that can intensify your pleasure, help you contain it, feel it more deeply. Then consciously direct it to other parts of your body. 

Tantric Orgasm: Containing Pleasure on the “Edge”

In Tantra, the purpose of learning to give yourself pleasure is not to achieve a bigger, better orgasm, though this will happen. The true purpose is the transformation of genital orgasm into whole body orgasm. 

This process may seem like discipline to you, as you will be asked to slow down and hang on to the “edge” when you feel most aroused, but you will find that the pleasure you are holding onto, becomes pleasure that you are building. The experience of full body orgasm is much more transcendent and life altering than the simple genital orgasm. 

Other Gifts of Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals

Men find this Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasuring ritual helpful to aid in recovering from ED and PE. Men greatly benefit through learning to prolong the lovemaking experience, so that they can experience their own full body orgasm, and the ecstatic full body bliss in harmony with the woman. 

Women who practice Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasuring rituals find that they increase their overall body arousal throughout the day, and thus are ready for lovemaking much more easily and quickly when they do engage with partner, rather than needing a lot of time to “warm up.” Women who practice Self Pleasuring find that it decreases numbness she may feel in her genitals, and which stops her from being able to climax at all. A Woman who practices this Art of Self Pleasuring, also experiences full body orgasms which are deeply relaxing, healing, heart opening, and ultimately incredibly transcendent.

Step by Step Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Ritual

Practice this technique three times a week for the next month.  . .

Don’t hurry. Often masturbation is done in a hurry to get to orgasm. Here, it is important that you take as much time as you want. After three or four sessions with yourself, you will probably be able to complete a satisfying self-pleasuring ritual in a shorter time, like thirty minutes. 

  1. Shut off any disturbances: phone, computer, news, etc. No hurry, no anxiety.
  2. Create your Sacred Space: Special fabrics, music, lighting, oils. 
  3. Create a hot ritual bath with some soothing smells or salts, to calm your muscles and body. Hot water warms and sensitizes your skin.
  4. When you are in your Sacred Space and bathed, look at your genitals in a mirror. You can lie on your back or stand in front of a mirror. Women often need a small handheld mirror to do this while men find it easier to stand. Whatever works for you. Place your hands at your sides and Stroke your sacred genitals, and close your eyes. Try to see your genitals in your mind. Then open your eyes and look at yourself again. The close and see your sacred genitals in your mind again, until you have a clear picture of your genitals in your mind. This will help you make comfortable friends with this sacred part of your body. 
  5. Cover your body with oil. Let any impatience go, and simply give over to exploring every part of your body with oil. Your whole body has potential to be orgasmic and this is the first step to Tantric lovemaking with yourself, and later your partner. 
  6. After massaging yourself, lie on your bed fully relaxed. Place your hands at your sides. Breathe deeply, all the way down to what feels like the inside of your genitals. Close your eyes and allow your body to resonate with the vibrations of the music. 
  7. Visualize a time you felt completely aroused, secure, loved and stimulated–– or fantasize the same kind of scenario. Imagine you are preparing for a seduction with this partner whom you felt this with, only now the person you are visualizing meeting, is Yourself. 
  8. Stroke your body, breathing into each sensation, feeling the texture of your skin. Places where its warm and calm, spots where you feel cool and unwelcoming. Warm the cool areas with massage, and give them love, tenderness. 
  9. As you continue massaging, go into the warm lovemaking scene you imagined earlier. Let your body direct you, and move into whatever position arouses you the most. . . 
Women: Explore

Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals by Dakini OceanaLet your hands slide over your abdomen, fingers gently exploring your yoni. Tease, arouse yourself, don’t be in a hurry. Lubricate the major and minora labia, Clitoris, touch yourself inside the fruits of your Vagina. Move to your perineal area and explore your anus. Tighten and relax the muscles of your Yoni and Anus, exploring the whole Sexual Region as an instrument of pleasure. Explore different types of touch, pressures. 

Blended Stimulation

Try blended stimulation, touching your nipples and your clitoris. Try to use your fingers instead of toys. If you must use a dildo, please try not to use battery or electric stimulation, just an object in the size and shape you desire is best. We like to create all stimulation organically, so we are not dependent on anything that requires manufactured stimulation, it confuses your pleasure nerve endings and retracts your ability for deeply touch pleasure with a partner. 

You may want to read this article and try some of these touches on yourself: The Mysterious Clitoris Uncovered


Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals by Dakini OceanaMove slowly around your Pelvis, Scrotum, and Perineal area before touching the shaft. Begin teasing yourself, moving your hands from base to tip. You are awakening all sensation throughout your entire genitals, not just going to the area of highest stimulation first. 

As you hold your Lingham with your whole hand, turn your hands around, caressing and feeling the sensitivity under the ridge, the glans. Move your fingers under your Anus as well, accepting it as a capable area of erotic sensitivity.

Prostate Stimulation

Men, if you like that, sit up against a wall and hold one hand over your Perineum, pressing it so that your Prostate experiences some pressure. If you want to insert a finger or toy, this is ok, as long as you remain comfortable and can move easily over it. Stroke your Sacred Wand with your other hand. Building the erotic fire slowly. . .

Men and Women: Continued Step By Step. . .flow
  • INHALE: Continue touching your body with one hand, and genital with the other. Inhale and visualize that you are drawing your pleasure energy in, from your Genitals, into your Pelvis. You can stroke your lower belly in a slow circle to help this energy move into your Pelvis. Continue self-pleasuring until you reach a near peak, just at “the edge” of orgasm. 

Then completely stop all stimulation and inhale. Hold the pleasure energy in, allow it to fill your pelvis. Remaining as relaxed in your entire body as you are able. Hold it for a long moment.

  • EXHALE: Then relax completely, exhale. Feel the energy to spread from your Genitals through your Pelvis, feeling where the energy moves in your your body. 

*This ability to resist temptation for quick release is an important step on your path to tantric enlightenment. 


Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals by Dakini Oceana

  1. As you repeat this process again, slowly. . .take your time building the energy back up to “the edge” . . . focus on breathing deeply into your Genitals and keep stimulating yourself. Stroking your Genitals from the back or bottom, frontward. 
  2. Place one hand on your heart, and as you breathe, with your exhale, move energy from your pelvis into your heart. Try motioning the hand on your heart over your body in an upward motion. Use your imagination to see the energy moving up. Just in the same forward, upward motion that You are stroking your Genitals from the back or bottom, forward, and up to the top.
  3. Breath of Fire: When you are on the brink of orgasm, practice Pranayama Breath of Fire. Exhale, Inhale, exhale, inhale. Quickly, like you would breathe to blow out a candle, repeatedly. This helps push the energy upward, away from being focused only in your Genitals, and into your heart. 


  1. Make sure your buttocks and anus muscles are relaxed, as tension there may cause it difficult for you to channel energy upward. 
  2. You can press against your Perineum with your heel if you are seated up, or your hand, to hold back ejaculation. You may notice that I suggest Breath of Fire and pressing Perineum instead of some Traditional practices that suggest squeezing the PC muscle. I have seen that method because create a lot of long term, physical tension in the Prostate, Anus, and flow of energy from body through Lingham. 
  3. Practice your energetic Breath of Fire with deep intentionality: inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. 

Breath of Fire uses your breath energy to send the luscious, sweet, warm fire and passion of life from deep within your Genitals into your Heart. 

Three to Four Rounds. . .and. . .
  1. Move to the peak of arousal three, four, times. . . each cycle can last four to five minutes. . . moving energy up to your heart center each time. You are now in the flow of creating space within your body for deeper levels of orgasmic energy, and the experience of full body orgasmic meditative bliss. 

 Yay! You are now in the flow of attuning to a greater strength, greater freedom, transcendence. You are moving beyond feeling your orgasms are uncontrollable reflexes, or unattainable due to numbness. You are realizing your ability to master, contain and channel your sexual energy throughout your entire body, mind, spirit, heart. The Joys of the Arts of Tantric Self-Pleasure Rituals.

Let Yourself Melt into Bliss. . .
  1. Allow yourself now, a beautiful entrance into pure orgasmic bliss, come. . .paradise. Breath, in, out, fierce, gentle, make sound, howl! Enjoy the energetic electricity experience within your Sacred Being. 
  2. Then Lay flat on your back. Calm. . . Afterglow. Place one hand on your heart and one on your pelvis. . .Breathe, let yourself feel pure presence. 

Do you feel ready to move on? I offer this practice which is in the ancient Tantric scriptures. xo Oceana 

  1. Practice the same steps. Moving erotic energy up through your Pelvis, into your Heart- Motion with you hand.
  2. NOW, as you INHALE: Look down toward your Genitals behind closed eyelids. Roll your eyes upward as you breathe in, so that by the time you have inhaled fully, your eyes are looking into the region of the THIRD EYE with your eyelids still closed. This will help lock the energy to that point. 

HOLD your breath for a few seconds, while relaxing your body as much as possible. *When we practice this in Studio, at this point many people experience a feeling of lightness, a floating, an out of body transcendence. 

Pointer: Men, If you feel it is hard to hold back from ejaculation, try pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth. This helps you feel anchored. 

  1. EXHALE: This time sending the energy back down, into your Genitals, to your Perineal root. 
  2. Practice a few rounds of this, keeping yourself on “the edge” of orgasm.


  1. Allow yourself now, a beautiful entrance into pure orgasmic bliss, come. . .paradise. Breath, in, out, fierce, gentle, make sound, howl! Enjoy the energetic electricity experience within your Sacred Being. 
  2. Then Lay flat on your back. Calm. . . Afterglow. Place one hand on your heart and one on your pelvis. . .Breathe, let yourself feel pure presence. 

Mindful Patience. . . Self-Care. . 

Third Eye Practice: For some, this brings on feelings of ‘mania’ in the days after. This means you are very sensitive and need deep grounding. IF you experience this, please, Go back to your Pelvic-Heart practice, focusing more on deepening with breath and imagination, into your Root and Second Chakra for awhile. Do not be in a hurry. 

Gifts. . .

Awakening and Circulating Kundalini Energy is a deeply beautiful vibrational shift, and must not be taken lightly. We all have different levels of sensitivity and ought not go faster than we are ready to, nor skip the importance of deep grounding into the body, often. You don’t have anything to prove, this is the antithesis of Sacred Tantric Practice. It is about developing a deeper sensitivity to your subtle energy bodies and giving yourself what you truly need, not what your ego wants to achieve. 

Be Patient . . Keep up your practice, trust yourself and eventually you will experience this intensified stimulation for longer and longer periods of time: Relax, Breath, Movement, Imagination, Sound, Visualize, Transcend. Unconditional Love.


For a complete discussion and guided practice of this Sacred Tantric Self-Pleasure Ritual you are welcome to engage in a Virtual Tantra Session from anywhere in the world, or In Studio session in New York, with Dakini Oceana. © SensualbyNature