Sexual Dysfunction including erectile dysfunction (ED), premature ejaculation (PE), prostate issues, and porn addiction in men.
by Melissa St Mari
Sexual Dysfunction in Men
I’ve seen first hand the negative effects of ejaculating too frequently. As a Tantra Teacher men of all ages often came to see me due to experiencing sexual problems and dysfunction of various kinds. Sometimes this can be caused by underlying health problems, medications or emotional and psychological issues like shyness. However, I noticed that masturbating frequently to porn and or ejaculating too frequently was almost always a main factor in the sexual dysfunctions I saw as a tantrica. Frequent Ejaculation and porn can both be very addictive and in our fast paced world many men use these things for stress relief on a daily basis, sometimes many times a day. While I do recommend self pleasuring regularly, even daily, I believe breaking the addiction to porn and ejaculating frequently can be an important part of learning how to experience more pleasure and vitality in the long-run.
Frequently, as men get older and have a habit or ejaculating frequently, they end up with prostate problems. Worst case scenario is that this leads to surgery and removal of their prostate, which makes them permanently unable to ejaculate. Anecdotally, I have been told by TJ Bartell, one of the main teachers for The Source School of Tantra, that through learning and practicing tantric sexual practices many men have been able to turn around a diagnosis of prostate cancer. Taoist practices use sexual life force energy to build health, vitality, and longevity rather than depleting the body.
It has been sad to see an epidemic of so many young men in their 30s and 40s experiencing sexual dysfunctions such as inability to achieve and keep an erection, inability to orgasm or ejaculate with a woman. In my experience the main causes of these challenges are primarily the overuse of pornography and masturbation. Neurochemically porn is damaging in two ways. First it is dangerously addictive due to the high levels of dopamine released while a man is looking at many new women. Secondly those men do not experience the benefits of Oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone released in an embodied interaction with a real live woman. A man who watches porn frequently, eventually accustomed his system to needing high levels of dopamine and frequent new visual stimulation of many different women in order to function sexually. Additionally, a man who masturbates and ejaculates frequently is training his body to respond, orgasm and ejaculate only with a very specific type of manual stimulation, which is hard to reproduce during an actual encounter with a woman. Therefore, he can have difficulty achieving and maintaining his erection and orgasming and ejaculating in an encounter with a woman if he has habituated his body to a disembodied solo sexual experience.
Treating Sexual Dysfunction in Men
For most of these men I recommend abstaining from porn and reducing the frequency of ejaculation by using tantric or Taoist sexual practices for circulating the sexual energy through the body when self pleasuring. Instead of porn I recommend that they use their imagination or think of a past embodied experience. I suggest they try to be sensual with themselves and in their life. Enjoy the sensuality of a walk in nature, eating a good meal, taking a long shower and making self pleasuring a sensual meditation. Touch themselves everywhere, breathe and relax and go slow. Savour the journey. Stop before getting to the point of no return and breathe the energy through the body using the Taoist Big Draw Practice.
For many men the antidote to sexual dysfunction, such as difficulty achieving and maintaining a full erection is to have regular sex with a real live woman with whom they have a positive emotional connection. Tantric practices can also treat this type of sexual dysfunction. The antidote for premature ejaculation are tantric practices which include slowing down and learning how to work with one’s sexual energy. Both men and women can learn how to treat premature ejaculation in men by learning how to consciously work with sexual energy and employing tantric and Taoist sexual practices for full body ecstasy and multiple orgasms
If you would like help with any of the challenges described above contact me, Melissa St Mari.