Wikipedia defines Kink as “unconventional sexual practices.” We have all fantasized or secretly desired what may be considered unconventional. It’s the beautiful nature of our erotic minds to engage with ideas that create arousal in our bodies. Kink teaches us to accept all sides of our erotic minds and use our taboos and desires…

Aging comes only to those who live long enough to experience it. If that’s you, do you view aging as a curse or a privilege, an end of a chapter or the beginning of new book? That depends on what your life looks like mentally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. No one prepared us for the…

You may be on the road to healing, but who can help you pick up the pieces of your sexual confidence, your loss of desire, your feelings about your new body, your need to be seen by your loved ones and accepted for who you are now.  Real conversations come from working one-on-one with a Sex…

What is the G-Spot? A sensitive area of the anterior wall of the vagina believed by some to be highly erogenous and capable of ejaculation. It is also called the grafenberg spot.  35% to 50% of people can SQUIRT! It is not a myth and this can be used to dismantle the patriarchy!! Cis-straight men…

[This is the second in a series. For the first part – see: Female Sexual Dysfunction.] Female Sexuality and Healing through Tantra Step 1 – Arriving at and accepting a depth conceptualisation and experience of our sex as it is. Often we are so drawn by ideas of how we would like our sex to…

A Tantra Ritual for Couples In our day to day living we often get caught up in the activity and busyness of daily life.  We engage in the realm of personality and lose sight of the extraordinary miracle we each are.   But what if you made a conscious decision to bring the quality of devotion…

At our recent introductory tantra day, we spent the afternoon exploring the Wheel of Consent. It’s derived from the Three Minute Game, developed by Betty Martin. In this game, you ask your partner “How would you like me to touch you?” .Your partner says, for example “I’d like you to stroke my face”, and if…

What does it really take to stay intimate with a partner and continue to enjoy your own sexuality? How does one address boredom, thoughts of an open relationship, regular date nights and physical activity to aid sexuality? And what about online dating? Could that get any worse? The answers don’t get any simpler, no matter…

Here’s an article posted recently, interviewing Mare Simone – titled ‘A tantric sex surrogate explains how to increase intimacy for more powerful orgasms’.   In the vast and Cosmo-flavored world of sex tips, there’s an overabundance of technical advice in circulation. Touch her g-spot like so. Try the corkscrew blowjob. Put a pillow under your…

Giving great sensual touch with your hands is the most important sexual skill you can have.  If your sex life isn’t as satisfying as  you’d like it, before rushing off to get a new sex toy, try improving your touch skills with these few easy tips. You can practice them with your partner or with…

One of the many reasons that couples struggle in the bedroom is because they may have a different sexual style.  Sexual styles were first discovered by the psychologist Donald Mosher and popularized by David Schnarch in his best selling book “Passionate Marriage”. There are three types of sexual styles and while many of us can…

For the past few years, publications like Mic, The Atlantic, and even TIME have pointed out that millennials have been defined by “hookup culture.” Michelle Adams writes that “hook-up culture is definitely something entrenched in the millennial generation” in her 2012 article for Mic. What is “Hookup Culture” exactly? It’s still too early for any…

Asking for What You Want Ask for what you want – everybody already knows that, right? How many times have we heard it? But has it gotten any easier? How do we really get comfortable with it? Asking for what we want is not a cool little sexual trick. It is a profoundly core issue;…

Before I became a sex and intimacy coach, I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about shame.  I understood the feeling of embarrassment, like when I said or did something stupid, but shame was not really on my radar screen. And there’s a reason why… my shame was so deeply repressed that I couldn’t…

The history books may remember the Summer of 2016 as a fight for our Democratic values as we faced, an unprecedented possibility, that a tyrannical demagogue could inhabit the most powerful position in the country, placing the entire world at risk. My own personal history book will record the Summer of 2016 as a time…

Silent Suffering – and – Superhero Syndrome When I worked as a professional companion it was not uncommon to hear clients ask, “Tell me what you like” or “What do you want me to do to you?” at the onset of our physical intimacy. Such requests came not only from clients, but men in my…

Cultivating Happy Relationships . . .and finding dishsoap I was interviewed by a very sweet man and woman who are in the process of a launching a six week tele-class. If you’ve read some of my earlier writings, you may know that I have somewhat of an aversion to the proliferation of tele-classes. And while…

Is It Better to Give or to Receive in Sex? Do you have a difficult time of just relaxing and receiving the pleasurable attention of your partner during foreplay? Or do you feel the need to return the favor right away? Sherry told me that she feels selfish when she just receives the pleasure that…

Pornography: Pros, Cons, and How to Watch It As a sex and Intimacy coach I decided since porn is a big part of today’s sex scene, I’d better know more about it, so I spent a good couple months watching…lots.  Very interesting experiment, I didn’t even need a vibrator. Instead of trying to answer whether…

How Love and Desire Differ Ask yourself, “How does it feel to be loved by someone?”  And then ask, “How does it feel to be desired by someone?”  You may be surprised how differently love and desire feel in relationship. Being loved feels comfortable, secure, anchored, being taken care of.   Love feels safe and secure, like a melting…

A few myths: 1)  Old folks don’t have sex: One of the most loving things older folks can tell young people is the truth about their sexuality and that sex often gets better with age.  Young people feel pressured and frantic to do it now and get it right because soon it will go away. …

When we hear the word erotic we often think, “Oh my God, hot and endless passion and hard-action genital aerobics.  Erotic, like the word sex, has been narrowly defined in culture to mean plumbing and pumping of body parts. I use the term in a much larger context. I define erotic as “being truthful, vulnerable…

At one time in my life, I had the most wonderful kisser for a boyfriend, so I was surprised when after time I got bored with our kissing. Then I discovered why. He was always kissing me (active) and I was always receiving his gestures. As soon as I realized I needed to be more…

Touch in our modern culture is a very touchy subject.   There are right ways and there are wrong ways.  There are good ways and there are bad ways.  There are socially acceptable ways and there are socially condemned ways. In our society, the socially acceptable way to touch and receive touch is through massage.  However,…

Performance anxiety runs rampant in our sexual beings.  It is an issue which evolves from our concept that we need another to complete the self; or that another needs us to be complete.  Men have been taught that they must be the performers – the magical ingredient that makes his partner have a sexual experience…

As a sex and intimacy coach, my most important job is to give people permission to have more fun. I’m a pleasure activist. My mantras are “Choose fun. Do it for you. Have it your way. Say yes to desires—and express them!” I encourage women to flirt, turn themselves on, and brag. I help men…